Sara Sakala

Malou Madsen

@redladybug437347 · Jan 12, 2026 11:08 am

I'm starting to think I need to weigh the pros and cons of killing myself

It's like this:
I want to transition from gender to another. I've *been* wanting to do this for months, and I have a consultation set up so I can get my desired hormones sooner rather than later. I think that my family will accept me, and I currently live someplace where I can get the support I need.
But with things as they are in the world...bad things could happen to me. *Soon*. Just for even *thinking* about doing this, let alone trying to pass.
Understand that I don't feel violently dysphoric in my body. Rather, the inverse is simply *euphoric*. But do you know what I was doing before I started thinking about transitioning? Smoking weed and drinking as often as I could without getting violently ill (and I failed at that a few times). Note that the drinking and smoking had nothing to do with wanting to transition (or at least I don't think it did). Rather, my life had stalled. *Has* stalled, honestly. It's not as though nothing good happens to me...but it's going nowhere. I've run low on ambitions. I'm not interested in much. Even after starting antidepressants, at best I still felt *closed off* from having any passion for anything.
Switching genders, though? *That* excites me.