Koray Süleymanoğlu

Marion Lee

@blackpeacock435710 · Jan 12, 2026 1:47 pm

i loved someone who i knew was gay

i dated someone for 4 years and knew from the start he was gay and wished he was a woman. before we dated he identified as transgender and had also been sleeping around with a lot of men. he then completely switched up and said it was a phase and he’s not a woman and doesn’t actually like men ?
i loved him and wanted the love he said he had for me to be true. i could never trust him which made me do stupid things. when i would ask questions i was shut down immediately. why i stayed for 4 years don’t know.
i feel disgusted with the things we had done together. things i never wanted to do, but did it anyways to make him happy. i don’t know why i didnt try harder to express how uncomfortable things made me. my first partnership has been soiled by a closeted man.
i never felt feminine with him, i never felt pretty and safe. i always felt like i was the man in the relationship and it genuinely ruined my self esteem. i felt like it was my fault that he was so disconnected with the feelings of our relationship, so detached all the time but it was never about me it was just him. he never felt present, ever.
its hard for me to speak about this to friends and family because i feel so much sh